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For god Sake's 3$!!!   
10:38am 02/12/2003
 
mood: excited
This show is going to be mind blowing. This band call paindrive rocks everyone socks. As well as all the bands. Good times kids... And it's only 3$ bucks for god sake's 3$ !!!
friday december 5th @ the show room in boca
$3

fievel
nine month anniversary
only in theaters
pain drive (10PM)
our of ashes
failure by design
stop this fall

470 nw 4th ave.
boca raton, FL 33432
561-395-2400
www.paindrive.com		  
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09:24pm 26/11/2003
 
mood: anxious
I'm scared of what happens next.		  
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01:54pm 25/11/2003
 
mood: curious
Wow 2 months without posting how about that??... Anyhow, now much i can really say about the past 2 months. Just passing through i guess. We play a couple of shows, some good, some bad. Last show of the year should be on th 5th, and hoping that would be decent.
Other than that i don't really know what to say. I just been higly unmotivated lately. So i guess that would be all for now..!!		  
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09:56pm 28/09/2003
 
mood: blank
Life is at a point where i can not really understand how the humans being works. Sometimesi seem to uderstand that humans are brought to life for only 2 purposes, sex and sleep. But that is such a caveman concept isn't it?. I can't really describe how i feel right now. I just can say that my days lately have been horrible. I have had to wake up around 630am everyday to finish stuff and get to school. It's been a horrible horrible week, and next week will be no difference. I can only say im really blank at this moment.		  
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12:51pm 21/09/2003
  BLAH, nonpoint cancelled on friday. Elias has laringitis or something. Talk to Rob Rivera for a while and he was all apologetic, which was ok. i felt bad for him coz everyone keep bitching him about cancelling. Saturday was alright. End up going to the Tavern with rod and this girl. Meet some other skanky bitches in the process....fun!! yeah right. Now is time to finish my C++ projects which i've been procrastinating since Tuesday....  
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10:13pm 15/09/2003
  no time, no posts... been mad busy as of late. 4 classes, newspaper, band, p'an ku story, homeowrks, c++ projects, director projects. This is the first semester im actually enjoying college..Besides the are amazing girls on my classes. i know i had to say that  
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11:20pm 04/09/2003
 
mood: blank
"The thing about Bounce fabric softner...is that actually it doesn't really bounce.."

That's the funniest thing i heard all week. Can you tell i have an amazing week?		  
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11:42pm 23/08/2003
 
mood: content
Things been going on lately....not bad , not good...just going. Practice today sucked. Maybe because Burak was sick or because i had my hand all cramp up..don't know. Things will get better im sure.

In others news, talk to melonija for a while... probably see her next week. Keep talking to roxy as well which is always nice.
MMM i wonde why i alkways stay friends with my exs?? I don't know.

School start fully on monday which im sure will be fun as usual...Some hardcore programming for me... yup yup.
Nothing else really to update besides that..just so i don't go 3 weeks without posting something		  
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10:42pm 21/08/2003
  my mind is totally blank... i can't think of anything, i can't feel anything..im so numb is not even tunny.
School started on wednesday. Things to look forward:
*English Papers. As most i hate writing i always found something new about myself when i wrote those damn essays
* C++. My first programing class. I lov codes!.
*New people in schools is always fun.

Now that im listening to the demo of my band. I realize how bad the vocals were recorded. I don't know why, but it's like word were cut off. wonder what it is.

Guess that's all		  
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12:26am 19/08/2003
 
mood: aggravated
I just realize the song stillframe by trapt is a representation of my life in words		  
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12:05am 13/08/2003
 
mood: pensive
Call me stupid, call me retard or call me fucktard. call me what you want. But i don't know what woman want. that simple. They don't want to tell me what the hell they want, so how am i suposed to know. I sometimes think they don't know want they want either.
I don't know why im saying this out here..but i didn't knew where else to post it as is not a specific situation im referring too.

I just want to know WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU GIRLS WANT??

thank you!:P		  
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05:14pm 09/08/2003
 
mood: anxious
Tonight we graduate and play in a very decent venue. The factory of Ft. Lauderdale. Can believe i'll be stepping exactly were Max Cavalera step and play with Soulfly. Exciting. Of course we'll play late and all that jazz but who cares.

And Samy is going so...who the hell knows where i might end up sleeping :) yeah right like that's going to happen. If i get a hug i'll be lucky. hehe will see im not scared of been rejected anymore since i lost all my dignity not long ago. will see what happens..

If your coming say hello if you see me, and if your not coming.....well shame on you!!		  
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08:42am 06/08/2003
 
mood: depressed
Im upset with myself and letting things affect me the way they do. The closer i step to my my dreams, they farther they become. Seems like i'll never reach them. Then again i don't have that many dreams. Everything is so vague for me right now. Everything is at this really bizarre point when it's only real when im asleep. Then again i might as well be dreaming coz the moment i wake up i snap into reality, and realize that my life is a living hell. If it wasn't for my band, i do not know what i would do to myself.		  
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10:11am 05/08/2003
 
mood: awake
I just realize how weird looking i am...:\ ohh yeah and a new icon.		  
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And then there was alcohol   
10:14pm 03/08/2003
 
mood: hungry
So last nigth i didn't go to see nonpoint, neither trap. Instead, i end up going to riverfront with rod, sami and andres. It was a blast. Probably the first time we go out and drink as adults!! Hell yeah!!. We had a blast. The funny things is the whole idea was for rod to hit on samy, while andres and i search for chicks..it end up been me hitting and dancing with sami, and rod hooking up with some chick called ashley. So proud of the boy. They are going on this week i think....and im seen samy on saturday at the show. We drank shit load of beer and a couple of tequila shots. We watch this band called New day Rising at Tavern 213 all night..they play covers and stuff,it was fun. Of course, we couldn't miss the show up by a couple of drunks lesbians...a.k.a. Dykes!!. lol. Came home at 5am.. and sleep until 3 or something like that..

This is week is going to be crazy. We have to practice at least 3 nights before the show on saturday. It's going to be fun. We are "playing" with All that's Left, who are having a cd release party. Of course we are not part of the show, but it would be nice to think we are. hopefully some kids will stay and such. Most of our friend are coming so that good. Im sure they'll ask us to play a show again.

What else..Im not expecting much from the samy thing..but she is really pretty and cute, so i might as well give it a shot. besides she has that rocker attitude i really dig.

So show is on saturday. really excited about it. The new song is mad crazy, i love it, It weird and so good.. Im actually happy how Burak change my riff for the new song. well not that he change much of it. the idea is the same it's just played with the wah pedal sounds really good. and his riff sounds good added to mine. So the song is great. Hopefully we'll play al of them at the show. we need for 7 stings songs thought, we have like 3 on 7 and 6 on 6 stigns so it kind of sucks.. we'll balanced out im sure.

i think that's about it..
ohh yes...i do have a little of a hangover.. damn cheap tequila!!		  
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11:48pm 01/08/2003
  Why this mood doesn't go away??.. im dying inside!!!i wish i could say something but everytime i open my mouth no sound comes out..no matter how hard i try... I just want to be heard for once....

SOMEONE SAFE ME!!		  
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11:56pm 27/07/2003
  Lousy weekend. Good show on thursday. We book a show ont he factory for aug 9th.. So proud of myself :P i mean us.

I've been thinking a lot after i read this icon on someone and it freak me out. It said:
"Look, if you had one shot, one oportunity, to seize everythig you ever wanted, one moment, would you captured it, or let it slip?"

It got me thinking about a few things. One was is that moment. Two, would i ever know what that moment is? and three would i capture it.?. Like just wonder what would happen 3 years from now. where would i've, who would i be with... like my future is so cloudy that i can't really see something out there. not that im asking to be told what would happen because then what's the point of going thru it if you know what would happen, but at least have a general idea of what might happen.

I don't know i've been in a weird mood lately.. sorry y'all		  
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01:33pm 24/07/2003
  Tonight's the show...hope you all can make it...hopefully we'll be good. Anyhow talk to you all laters!!  
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12:44am 23/07/2003
  Can we say frustration?? anyone. lol... ok now i need to brake someone's neck.

ANGER RISING!!!!!!! I NEED TO SCREAM SO BAD!!!!

MY PATIENCES IS GETTING TEST TO THE WORST LIMITS....
SPEC ME TO BE IN THE WORST MOOD YOU SEEN ME IN MONTHS. IF I YELL AT PEOPLE I HOPE YOU GUYS FORGIVE ME.

IT'S FUNNY COZ I CAN KILL HER...COZ WELL I DON'T WANT TO FUCK M LIFE UP, AND THEN IM FUCKING PROUD TO KILL MYSELF...SO IM STUCK

PLEASE HELP!! I NEED A HUG!!		  
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12:34am 23/07/2003
  !!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You think everything would go away after a while right... it's been a couple of good days lately, decent band practices, hanging out with the friends, etc etc. But f course everything comes back and bite me in the ass ! i can't get away from it. Doesn't matter how much i try, doen't matter how much i say this time would be different. It just never happens. It's so easy for the world to take a swing at me and make me really upset. And not a simple upset that would bother me one day and the next day it's gone. This is just a continuos state of bitchiness. And i hate i want to change. i wish i could erase the source from it, then perhaps i would be a better person. perhaps then i would be a decent man. maybe then things would be easier. But i don't whyne. The world can keep spinning and i could careless, coz in my would i make the rules.		  
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